LIFE. A word a friend of mine uses regularly as an expression when things get hard, or don't go the way you want it to go.
As it is obviously seen, I have not been blogging for God knows how long.. This is due to various reason.. including SPM, SPM results, life, problems and college..
Yeap, after spending 11 years in the Malaysian government education system I am finally FREE!!!
Gone are the days of BM and...... well that's about it for now.. cause even though I'm in college, I still have to take these 2 very familiar subjects.. Malaysian studies, which is essentially Sejarah, and Moral Studies, which is essentially.. well that's pretty obvious now isn't it??==
The only upside to this, is that I no longer have to study these 2 subjects BM so it makes it a lot easier to cope with (=
More on my life after SPM on a later date ><
Now back to my original intentions.. hmmmm this is pretty hard.. cause to understand my situation you need to know some history.. damn... let me condense it down for you.
Essentially, I'm studying a course that none of my really close Kuching friends are taking, cause they're all taking the same course.. which is different from mine obviously. Hence, our holidays are during completely different times. So now they're all back in Kuching, even as I type this for the pass 2 weeks..ish. So I'm generally alone outside college hours. Phew.. that was... something..
I find bit too much effort at times to meet up and bond with other people I've met here, as well as fellow Kuchingnites I've met here, which I didn't know before. So bite me.
Back to the main point here, as I've been left to my own devices this pass week, I've had a lot of time to think about life.. my life.. problems in life.. social life.. romantic life... the real life.. and the life you live to fit in socially. It's quite sad actually, blame America all you want for showing shows that portray that there is a social grading system in life.. but I feel in reality this has been on place all along.. looooooooooooong before America started 'anything'.
Okay.. lets talk about basic social interactions. How many of us actually act the way we actually are? A lot of us acts in a socially desirable manner all the time. Like laughing at not-so-funny jokes or going out with friends cause it the normal thing to do.. As friendships are formed by spending time together.. it's understandable that when a group of people hang out together all the time cause they're in the same course they are closer friends.. which makes the odd socially awkward person doing another course even more uncomfortable at times.. but why does this sad chap keep on hanging out with these people subjecting him/herself to constant ridicule by certain 'friends' and uncomfortable encounters??
Becauseeeeeeeeeeee.. it's the socially normal thing to do. In life now, people with a very limited social life are generally perceived as not as 'fun' by people, hence they are shunned out and outcast. Obviously, I'm merely talking about a general population, sureee not everyone is THAT judgmental but I'm pretty sure there are more than enough of these people out there. So to fit in, you force yourself to condition your behaviour and attitude to fit the social settings out there. It's really sad once you think about it..
Other than that even in a group of friends there the 'rating scale'. This scale is determines who is 'ranked' what in a group of friends. Who's the alpha dog and who's the shitty guy at the back that everyone makes fun of. This can be determined by many things, such as the usual like, appearance, posture, form of speech.. blah blah blah.. But many other small thing play a role in this 'rating scale' as well. For example, who walks in front when in the group, who stands in the middle when in a group, who enters first into a room. Even when the path is wide enough for 3 people to walk shoulder to shoulder but there are 4 guys, who's the sad lonely chap at the back also plays a role in determining your social standing in the group.
As for the room thing, I know people who are just such egotistic bastards who are too full of themselves that they always have to enter the room first. So if you are about to enter the room first, that jerk will just barrel him way through push pass you, and even you have some balls to not let him barrel pass you, which means you both will be stuck at the door, this sly bastard will blame you, by saying stupid f'ed up shit like ' Why are you rushing in.. not like it's a competition' and while he's doing that he walks in first which places him higher in the 'rating scale'. So now not only has he positioned himself higher.. he has firmly established that you are below him among the group, all while looking like the good guy.. Asshole.. You guys out there are not as smart you think okay
Another great example of social standing competitions is this. But first let me create a setting. There's is A who from young has been shy and generally quiet since young, this lets B to take the dominant role of the friendship since young. Letting B 'bully and harass' A throughout life. Now as time pass and A gets older, A starts to develop more confidence and starts to stand up to B and B's jackassness. Now B is not happy with this as A is threatening B's social standing. So what does B do? TRY TO KNOCK A BACK DOWN. Like the room thing mentioned above. Other than the room thing, B will also do shitty stuff like always make small issues into a big one while out with A and friends concerning A and B and try to win the argument, as to secure B's social standing. Now A is not going to back down anymore and starts to take a stand, which pissed B even more. So what does B do now? He creates a fight between B and A. Now while doing so, he always tries to imply that A started the fight when in actuality B was the instigator. B also always takes 'nice guy' role and 'apologises' first, and saying bullshit like 'At least I apologised' making B look like the victim and A the bad guy. This is to gain sympathy among peers.. that jackass.
So here are some classic situations in that occur in the social world. ahhh.. life.. ==
Don't let me get started the complexities of romance and love. Sure I have practically 0 experience in relationship.. but I've heard, seen, though enough to gain a rough idea. Maybe another day eh?
Ja-ne!!
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